Being social, popular and liked are sought after personality traits in modern culture, because attached to these are many benefits. Outgoing extroverted people usually have more friends and seemingly have more fun and success than introverts. Introverts, on the othr hand, especially if they are shy, may also experience loneliness and depression. Extroverts with bigger social friendship groups have easier access to a support network of friends.
Not being afraid to express yourself and go after what you want in life can lead to a fuller and more outgoing social life. Therefore, it seems that there is a good reason to overcome your shyness. You might gain a more socially fulfilling and supportive life by bringing elements of being extroverted into your lifestyle.
It can be nerve-wrecking to have casual chats as we often overthink what we want to say. But, getting your conversation skills up to speed is a quick and easy way to come out of your shell and to bring elements of being more sociable.
Although there are particular scenarios or situations - like job interviews - where you have to be cautious about what you say, you will have the opportunity in most other conversations to talk more often and more spontaneously.
It might sound unhelpful, but try not to think too much before you speak in informal social situations. Perhaps try with some easier candidates, like someone who you feel relaxed with at first, before gradually building on being more spontaneous in other discussions. For example, in some situations you can probably already talk to people easily and spontaneously. Perhaps it is easier talking to family, your niece or nephew or a close friend.
However, when you are around people whom you do not know well or feel intimidated of, you are not able to behave in the same way. Your shyness and social anxiety will probably get in the way.
Often, this issue fixes itself through gradual exposure. Our current friends used to be strangers to us. Thus, an intimidating stranger could become a close friend if you hang around with them several times. By spending more time with people you will inevitably start to get the hang of talking to strangers.
If you focus too much on everything you say, you'll come across as trying too hard. What people find more comfortable and like about others is their nature to just let the words flow. That way you become more easy-going and people like that.
There are many useful relaxation techniques to lower your levels of nervousness and shyness when talking to people. Being relaxed puts your body in the "rest and digest" phase and it demonstrates to your brain that there is nothing for you to be afraid of in that particular situation. This eases your brain's anxious vigilence. That is just what you want. We cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time. So being relaxed shuts down feelings of nervousness and anxiety. Feeling more relaxed and confident in yourself will also ease your shyness.
To get the maximum results in overcoming shyness, your relaxation routine need to be structured and part of an ongoing lifestyle, rather than just one-off events. Relaxation is more effective when implemented as a routine part of your life, rather than hoping it would work first-time around in the middle of a full-blown social anxiety attack.
By relaxing little and often you accumulate a lifestyle change that yields the most substantial outcome. So set aside some relaxation activities of self-care each day. Over time you will be able to draw on your relaxation resouces when you are feeling tense, shy and nervous around people.
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